Your Quiz Result Is:

Open Relating

 

Description

You already have a relationship. You are not primarily cultivating additional attached relationships outside of it. Still, you like to connect and play with others. This path is one that challenges cultural conditioning around intimacy and relationships, and is definitely a tightrope to walk. As long as you master your communication skills and exercise appropriate discernment, it can definitely be rewarding as it will allow you to experience a broad range of experiences without attachment while maintaining a healthy primary relationship.

You are committed to authentic, powerful, and clear communication with ALL of your partners

Strategy

Effective communication is key. Be clear with potential intimate partners about your relationship and other extracurriculars, STI status and virology, what you are and are not available for.

Pitfalls

Jeopardizing the integrity of your primary relationship for the purpose of “juicy” intimate encounters. Moving too quickly or stretching yourself too far, resulting in dispersal of energy. Failing to honor or communicate relationship boundaries. Selecting people who want more from you than you are available to give.

Hierarchical Polyamory

 

Description

You have a primary (or multiple primary) relationships. Your allegiance is to the health of those commitments above all, but you do take on other partners and create a degree of bonding or attachment within them. You may consensually share time among these relationships.

Strategy

Boundaries are key here. You must become clear how much time and bandwidth you have for relationship(s) outside of your primary, what types of intimacy will be shared, and to what degree you are available to each partner and what they can expect from you.

Pitfalls

Selecting secondary partners who want more from you than you are able/willing to give. Energy dispersal among multiple relationships resulting in harmful impact on yourself and others. Lots of challenging conversations. Falling in love with a secondary in new relationship energy (NRE) and straining the primary relationship(s). Partner not approving of secondary relationship(s) or you not liking theirs–jealousy.

Unicorn Polyamory

 

Description

You AND your partner are seeking another to come into your relationship in a romantic and potentially intimate context. You want that person to engage with both of you in some way, at least ideally. This person is referred to as a “unicorn.”

Strategy

This is a particularly difficult dynamic to do well. Understand your unicorn as a person. Get to know them, their goals, their desires. Clearly communicate with them what you are and are not available for as a couple and honor those agreements. Make sure that anyone you bring into your relationship is not seeking to have all of their intimacy needs fulfilled from the relationship with you, and don’t try to do so. Clearly communicate the needs and boundaries of all concerned.

Pitfalls

Falling in love with your unicorn and jeopardizing the primary relationship. The unicorn may want more from you than you are available to give, and seek that elsewhere, creating heartache on all sides. Often, these kinds of relationships are short-lived because the third is desiring more than to be a third in another relationship. Understand that, and be spacious for the process. Your relationship may evolve. Seek to create understanding on all sides and adjust accordingly considering everyone’s needs and boundaries.

Swinging

 

Description

You and your partner are desiring to connect with other singles and couples who understand being in committed relationships and still desire a degree of play outside of those relationships. To that end, you’re mostly wanting to connect with other couples or select singles who will not jeopardize the health of your relationship. There are many different types of swinging,
and the breakdown is as follows:

Soft swinging: You play primarily WITH your partner at events.

Hard swinging: You play with and without your partner.

Closed-group swinging: You have a curated group of people who all know each other well and engage in the “lifestyle” together

Strategy

Decide BEFORE any encounters what your boundaries and agreements are for that encounter. Stick with them. Maintain open communication with your partner, and never use your experiences against one another.

Pitfalls

Lacking clear communication of boundaries and agreements. Jealousy. Falling in love with someone you swing with and communicating your feelings with your primary partner and or having appropriate boundaries with them. Going too fast or improperly vetting the suitability of partners.

Solo Polyamory

 

Description

You are not seeking to cultivate a primary relationship. It does not suit your needs or desires, but you still desire authentic relationships and intimacy. To that end, you seek to relate with others as a mostly free-agent. This does not mean, however, that you lack heart or commitment. You can share intimacy just like anyone else, but you are careful about what you commit to.

Strategy

Clear communication with partners about what you are and are not available for. Sourcing your intimacy from multiple people, and not relying on people for things they are unwilling to give to you or giving to others what you’re not available for.

Pitfalls

Dating people who want more commitment than you are available for. People not understanding that you are not on the “relationship escalator” to primaryship. Difficulty creating consistency within relationships due to the above. Frustration due to lack of desire to create a bonded relationship while still desiring depthful connection.

Polysensual

 

Description

You have a primary relationship that is intimately exclusive, but you do enjoy sharing your sensuality with many. This path can be a beautiful one because it provides an extra degree of security within your primary relationship while leaving you open to witness the many flavors of others in a limited capacity.

Strategy

Clear communication with your partner about what the boundaries of your explorations will be, and equally clear communication with those you connect with. Create safety within your primaryship by hearing their needs, boundaries, and concerns and adjusting to meet them accordingly.

Pitfalls

Withholding information from primary partner. Not honoring agreements. Leaving many people “wanting more.” Desire to open further however you have a fear that your partner will say no, or be upset so you hide or not disclose.

Kinky Non-Monogamy

 

Description

You have a primary relationship, but explore BDSM or kinky relationships outside of that. For example, you have a dom that you see on occasion. Or you identify as a dominant and keep slaves. We don’t care what you do, and likely neither does your partner as long as you’re up-front with them about your activities. You may or may not enjoy a kinky dynamic with your primary partner, which will also affect how you relate with others.

This style of relating affords clarity of roles as well as a degree of recreation and spice. If you’re lucky enough to find a service submissive that fits your needs, you can also get some work done around the house.

Strategy

Clear role delineation in your relationships keeps this style of non-monogamy clear of confusion. Your partner is your romantic consort, and your relationship with others fits into a particular power dynamic.

Pitfalls

Submissives who get overly attached or doms who cross boundaries. Jealousy or lack of understanding from your partner. Subs wanting more from their Doms outside of their container and it affecting the health or agreements of your primary partnership.

Polyfidelity

 

Description

Whatever your poly family looks like, all partners are intimately and romantically exclusive with one another in your ideal configuration. This does not mean that all partners must engage with one another intimately; it means that they (and you) only engage intimately and romantically within it unless the family were to expand.

This style of relating provides a more clear avenue for mutual co-creation and cohabitation than some other styles of non-monogamy.

Strategy

Create a clear understanding of how you all fit into each other’s lives with your own unique schedules, needs, and boundaries. This style of relating is usually reserved for those with a high degree of comfort with one another; develop that first before expecting relationships to become polyfidelitous.

Pitfalls

Trying to create a polyfidelitous relationship based on one partner’s insecurity rather than authentic mutual desire. Moving too quickly into commitment before authentically creating mutual agreement with what is in the highest benefit for all. It It can be challenging to create harmony to balance time, energy, and affection within your configuration.

Non-Hierarchical Polyamory

 

Description

You do not choose to prioritize one relationship over another, and so you do not seek a “primary;” rather, you take each relationship as its own world. Whatever your configuration, you want each of your partners to feel as if they are prioritized.

Strategy

Time is the biggest limitation of this style of non-monogamy. You must make decisions about time sharing, cohabitation, vacations etc… in a way that feels equitable to all involved. As such, it’s particularly important that the rapport among your partners is solid so there are no power grabs and communication stays open. It definitely helps if you can be open with everyone’s family and friends about your configuration so hiding does not create undue tension. In many cases that may take a good amount of energy with communication up front, but it’s worth it in the long run for the peace of mind. It is important to create a degree of inclusion amongst your different partners so that everyone feels considered and their needs and boundaries are also honored within your other connections.

Pitfalls

Jealous partners or partners who want to feel “primary” with you. Failing to budget your time well. Having children with one partner can strain or break this dynamic. Not creating clear communication regularly amongst your different partners and with your needs while also considering their needs/ boundaries.

Relationship Anarchy

 

Description

Relationship anarchy (RA) is less of a relationship “structure” and more of a philosophy. It’s for those who don’t like to be boxed in to one way of being, and are non-hierarchically minded. Basically, it means that you respect individual choice and sovereignty above all. It does NOT mean relationship chaos or “I do what I want regardless of impact.”

Relationships are constructed consensually within RA among a number of categories (romantic, physical intimacy, co-habitation, emotional intimacy, business partners etc…), and non-romantic, non-intimate relationships are not viewed as “less than” or “less important than,” and Relationship Anarchists often display a degree of fluidity among them. Lovers become friends, friends become lovers, etc… as it feels within the mutual “yes” of all parties.

Strategy

Consent is your primary tool within RA. It requires a LOT of checking in with others surrounding what they are a “yes” to in any given moment. As a result people practicing RA often experience a degree of fluidity and change within their relationships. Don’t expect that what someone is a “yes” to on one occasion will remain a “yes” into the future unless it’s agreed to.

Pitfalls

Constant checking in. Keeping tabs on multiple evolving relationships. If you have difficulty adapting to new circumstances, RA is not for you. Not having appropriate discernment with who you are connecting with and as a result others becoming more attached and/or want more than you can provide.

Monogamous, and Dating

 

Description

How did you get here? You’re not non-monogamous! At least, your ideal relationship situation is not. You may be seeing a number of people at once, but you’re seeing them in order to select ONE. Basically, you’re monogamous but dating around.

Strategy

The strategy for attracting a partner is similar in monogamous dating to what it is in non-monogamy. Only say “yes” to partners who have good communication skills, are emotionally available, and by whom you are turned on (if you value these things–most do). Similarly, be up-front with everyone you’re dating that you are, in fact, dating. You have not made a selection and you’re in the exploration. Have clear safer intimacy conversations and equally clear conversations about your emotions and process.

That being said, some monogamous people get addicted to dating. This addiction looks like a series of 3-6 month relationships that fizzle out once non-monogamous people call “New Relationship Energy” (NRE) ends. To successfully attract and keep a partner you must learn to cultivate deep intimacy that generates the bonding hormone oxytocin in addition to the intoxicating cocktail of norepinephrine, dopamine, phenylethylamine, estrogen and testosterone released during NRE.

Pitfalls

Getting stuck in the “no one can meet me” trap. Feeling hopeless looking for “the one” that never comes. Addicted to quick intimacy, fear of commitment. Childhood patterning that keeps you selecting unsuitable partners.

Unicorn Poly

 

Description

You’re looking for others to join you and your partner for some fun. You’re not looking for anything serious or committed, but you do want to explore in the bedroom with others… together.

A person coming into your dynamic is called a “unicorn.”

Strategy

Select your “unicorns” well is key here. Do not select those who are looking to develop deeper attachment. Make your relationship boundaries clear, which means you need to be in discussion with your partner. What are you open to? Is penetration on the table? How much time will you spend with your “unicorn?” Will you see them outside of the context of your coupleship? These are just a few of the important discussions to have.

Pitfalls

One of you becoming attached to your “unicorn” or the unicorn wanting more from one or both of you than you are willing to give. Jealousy.

Monogamish

 

Description

You’re monogamous… except when you’re not. For the most part you look like any other “standard” couple, but sometimes you like to play with others… together for the most part.

This relating style affords the stability of a monogamous partnership (and the privilege associated with appearing as one) with occasional dalliances with others, and can bring a lot of spice into your relationship… if you handle it well.

Strategy

Partner selection is key here, as is clear communication. Know and communicate your relationship boundaries and desires so you create clear interactions and mitigate jealousy or expectations.

Pitfalls

One of you wanting to be more open or otherwise attaching to someone that you bring into the dynamic. Unclear communication. Having any degree of resentment or feeling like you’re “dragging” the other partner along for the ride. Partners who are NOT part of the pair bond feeling like a “secret.”

Non-Consensual Non-Monogamy

 

Description

You’re non-monogamous, but your primary partner does not know about one or more of your partners. If you were working from a monogamous paradigm, we might call that “cheating.”

Typically, this is a phase of development for non-monogamous people. They often worry that if they communicate about their desires that they will lose the stability and love that they previously enjoyed with their partner. So they hide or withhold.

It’s a strategy that works in the short-term, but always blows up in your face over the long haul.

Strategy

It’s likely time to have a difficult conversation… and soon. It can be quite intimidating to tell your partner that you have not been completely honest or forthright with them, and it’s best to get support. See the conversation guide later in this book for inspiration. You will be given some options to support you in this in our follow-up email series should you decide to opt-in.

Pitfalls

Your partner finding out in an extremely inconvenient manner. Crippling guilt and self-recrimination.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

 

Description

You have a partner, and you have other lovers as well but your partner does not need or want to know about them. This arrangement is consensually agreed-upon.

Strategy

Typically, a couple enters into this arrangement to avoid the jealousy and discomfort that can arise from communicating forthrightly about extra-relationship encounters. It’s important to have at least a level of discussion about STI status and prophylactic use.

Pitfalls

This dynamic works in the long-term for some, but quite often the lack of communication carries over to other parts of the relationship, causing a breakdown in intimacy. We do not recommend this style of relating for a long-term partnership. It may hurt in the shorterm to know what is going on with your partner, but it often causes devastating results that can be irreparable in the long term. We encourage you to find the balance between transparent vulnerable honesty and honoring appropriate boundaries within sharing.

Commerce

 

Description

You’re a true warrior.

This is less of a relationship style than a choice of engagement. You utilize the services of se* workers in order to meet your needs for se* and intimacy, or you ARE a se* worker yourself.

Strategy

Frank, honest, discussions about STI status are extremely important here, as is frank communication with any other partners about your engagements. There’s nothing wrong inherently with se* work; it’s a venerated profession. Unfortunately, much of it occurs “in the dark” so to speak so you must be careful with whom you engage and how.

Pitfalls

Lack of ongoing, emotionally depthful, relating. STIs. Getting “burnt out” on intimacy. Playing into and reinforcing patterns around associating monetary value with se*uality.

Poly/Mono Relating

 

Description

You’re non-monogamous, but one of your partners (probably primary) is not.

Strategy

While some non-monogamous people would never date a monogamous person, others are quite happy in the configuration. The strategy for this style of relating is the same as any other. Determine each partner’s needs and create agreements around them. It’s likely the monogamous person will want to feel prioritized within the relationship, so determine what agreements you need to create to allow for that.

In this sort of dynamic it’s VERY important that everyone go in with their eyes wide open. Talk with others who have done this. Get support. Understand what is needed to make it work for BOTH of you.

Pitfalls

Jealousy from the monogamous partner. Time constraints. Sabotaging the relationship through unhealthy relationships outside of primaryship.

Monogamy

 

Description

You’re monogamous! That means you choose to have only one intimate and romantic partner at a time. Believe it or not, a healthy monogamous relationship IS an Open Love Style. The openness, however, is between the two of you rather than more than one.

Strategy

Although it may seem that this style of relating is opposed to non-monogamy, the strategy to create a healthy monogamous relationship is very similar, and there are many things to learn FROM non-monogamy that can apply to monogamy.

For example: It’s important that monogamous partners are able to communicate about their feelings of attraction for others. An agreement to be monogamous is NOT an agreement to never feel attraction for anyone else. It’s merely an agreement to keep your intimacy energy contained within the relationship. If you can’t speak about your authentic feelings you will create hiding or minimizing, which can sabotage a relationship over the long term. So, enjoy your commitment, and stay honest. Get support if needed.

Pitfalls

Falling into a rut. Jealousy. Feeling of inability to express your authentic intimacy desires within the monogamous relationship which leads to an intimacy shutdown.

Discover how to overcome jealousy and insecurity, and start thriving in conscious open relationships.

The Ultimate Open Relationship Toolkit

The Ultimate Open Relationship Toolkit
Pre-recorded Polyamory Workshop

Communication Blueprint Training Video & PDF

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The Open Relationship Type Guide

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The Open Relationship Agreement Guide

Leveled Up Love + Membership is your one-stop shop for more fulfilling open relationships.

Leveled Up Love + is an exclusive membership program that offers community, new connections, education, events, and the deep support you need to create thriving polyamorous and open relationships.

OVER 4,300 ACTIVE COMMUNITY MEMBERS FROM OVER 95 COUNTRIES

Compassionate
Community

Join our original online polyamory community discussing conscious communication and trauma-informed open relationships. In addition, be part of the Open Relationship Academy, our smaller, higher-touch community with an expert team of poly-friendly counselors and coaches.

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Research-backed advice for finding and connecting with non-monogamous people.

Intimate Events

Research-backed advice for finding and connecting with non-monogamous people.

Non-monogamy Education

24/7 access to 100+ hours of live and archived relationship trainings, expert interviews, workshops, and masterclasses that help you break through jealousy, attachment issues, time management, and other common open relationship roadblocks.

Polyamory Coaching

Access our A-Team of polyamory counselors and coaches (with exclusive member discounts).

BONUS: The Ultimate Open Relationship Toolkit

1. Pre-recorded Polyamory Workshop

Lea & Shai cover the 5-Steps To Identify And Resolve Open Relationship Blind Spots, using these five critical questions. Why are you choosing an open relationship? What style of non-monogamy is ideal for you and your partners? Who is ready willing and able to practice non-monogamy? When is the right time to open, or close, a relationship? What are the tools to help you thrive in an open relationship?

(valued at $97)

2. Conflict Resolution Training Video & eBook

Many open relationships stumble because they don’t realize the “monogamy detox” is a REAL thing and requires REAL tools! Conflicts will be inevitable as you transition from mono to poly mindsets. Our critical communication tools will help you prevent fights from going on for days by shifting conflict into peace faster, and allow you and your partners to come out stronger and closer in the process!

(valued at $127)

3. The Open Relationship Type Guide

So many polyamorous partners suffer from terrible fights because they are not aware (or accepting) of each other’s open relationship needs! Our guide outlines all 18 Open Relationship Types in detail so you can explore & understand the vast variety of open relationships – including the descriptions, strategies and pitfalls. Being aware of every partner’s “open relationship type” is a critical first step to thriving in open relationships!

(valued at $47)

4. The Open Relationship Agreement Guide

So many non-monogamous lovers suffer when they are blindsided by relationship circumstances they never planned for (i.e. safety boundaries, new schedules, ongoing communication). You’ll have a practical step-by-step template to help you set intentions in writing and protect your relationships.

(valued at $47)

Leveled Up Love Plus is Perfect for You if…

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You sometimes feel isolated because others can't relate to your polyamorous relationship.

Imagine being a part of a thriving community with over 4,000 high vibe, compassionate, open-relators.

You can finally get vulnerable, get polyamory support in a safe space, and maybe discover a new romance on our open relationship connection platform.

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You’re curious about our exclusive & titillating intimate events.

You’ll be invited to explore our private events, like The Virtual Pleasure Garden (with special member discounts).

Get ready to gently push your boundaries and have some FUN!

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You're overwhelmed with navigating your open relationship.

Whether you’re brand-new to polyamory or a seasoned veteran, navigating open relating has its share of unique challenges.

Imagine having a set of tools, workshops, and expert polyamory coaches to help guide your every step.

Does Open Relating Just Feel Too Hard Sometimes?

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You or your partner spend way too much of your time and energy battling feelings of insecurity and jealousy
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You’re “newish” to opening up your relationship and it’s not going as well as you’d like
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You’re already super busy with life, so the idea of juggling multiple relationships just gives you a headache!
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The idea of “coming out” as polyamorous and telling your family and friends sounds overwhelming
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You can’t seem to find like-minded people to connect with who are also open!

Ready for a new way to experience fulfilling open relationships?

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Teagan A.

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David F.

“I had an amazing time attending the Virtual Pleasure Garden. I loved the feelings of togetherness and loving connection that you created, as well as the amazing performers who offered beautiful gifts of flow with so much heart, skill, and sensuality.”

Teagan A.

Teagan A.

“Leveled Up Love is valuable for anyone looking to consciously explore relationships beyond monogamy. Building a love life that exists ‘outside the box’ can come with many challenges, but sharing and learning in a forum of like-minded hearts has been a healing experience of support and community for me.”
David F.

David F.

“I had an amazing time attending the Virtual Pleasure Garden. I loved the feelings of togetherness and loving connection that you created, as well as the amazing performers who offered beautiful gifts of flow with so much heart, skill, and sensuality.”
Erin D.

Erin D.

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Why Choose Us?

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Experienced

We have a combined 11 years of experience practicing ethical and conscious non-monogamy.

We’ve learned through our own “poly school of hard knocks” and studied frameworks such as attachment theory, core human needs and love languages.

We also view challenging behaviors in polyamory through a trauma-informed lens, which alone was a game-changer.

Compassionate

We are NOT one of those online polyamory communities where some people tell other people to “own their sh** and stop being so possessive”.

We’re advocates for those who are struggling in polyamory and the beautiful partners who support them.

Affordable

You could waste thousands of dollars and hours of time on therapists and relationship coaches who don’t really get open relating. They often do not have the unique tools to help you work through your unique challenges.

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A compassionate open relationship community with over 4,300 amazing members from 95+ countries (Priceless!)
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Workshop #1: 5-Steps To Identify And Resolve Open Relationship Blind Spots ($97 Value)
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Workshop #2: The Anxious Poly Toolkit ($97 Value)
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Ongoing expert interviews, workshops, and masterclasses related to non-monogamy (included)

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24/7 access to 100+ hours of curated content related to non-monogamy (included)
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Access to world-class 1:1 open relationship coaches & guides (at discounted rates)

BONUS: The Ultimate Open Relationship Toolkit

Pre-recorded Polyamory Workshop
($97 VALUE)

Communication Blueprint Training Video & PDF
($127 VALUE)

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The Open Relationship Type Guide

($47 VALUE)

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The Open Relationship Agreement Guide
($47 VALUE)

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About Your Guides, Lea + Shai

Featured Speakers At:

Enrich Retreat

One World Festival

Lea’s Story

I wasn’t exactly designed or prepared for polyamory. But what I really desired from the beginning was freedom.

Something was telling me that this work would be worth it. I knew that I would experience many challenges, but that through the process I would uncover where my discomfort was coming from. That belief led me on a groundbreaking exploration of self-discovery.

Read More
It really started many years ago when my former husband and I decided to have a child, and the arrival of our son spawned the greatest cataclysm of our relationship. We had been disconnecting for a while and this major life event amplified so many challenges.

My health also plummeted. And I remember thinking about tribal cultures where support, resources, care-giving responsibilities, and even lovers had been shared. The idea appealed to me so much. I thought, perhaps, a tribal community might be the solution to getting my needs met and mending my relationship. That’s when the first seed was planted for me.

I later joined a relationship-hacking mastermind focused on salvaging failing marriages, and through that, I learned a lot about communication. In this group, I met a couple who openly engaged with multiple partners. Another seed was planted.

I started to question if there was a more creative way to get our needs met.

Like many others, we had opted into monogamy without question. And I began to wonder what it would be like to make a conscious choice rather than simply defaulting to societal expectations.

But something in my instincts told me that my husband wasn’t the right person to broach that ground with. Neither of us had any of the navigational tools to make that work.

So we ended up using the new tools I gained from the mastermind to consciously uncouple and remain great friends to this day. When I met Shai soon after that, polyamory seemed to be a great way for me to enjoy both a committed relationship and to also be free. In theory…

Now, being a perfectionist, an only child, and someone who has been programmed for scarcity, I came into poly with three major ingredients that would have set most people up for failure. I struggled with jealousy while simultaneously wanting to explore on my own freedom. So I felt like a hypocrite. I wasn’t; I just didn’t understand how the mind and the body works. How the intellectual mind can live in one place, and the body-mind, (which is your entire lifetime of encoded emotions, traumas, and acquired patterns) lives somewhere different. It’s these sort of simple insights that have allowed me to flourish in my open relationships over time.

It’s been a long, arduous journey. There were moments where I certainly felt like I wasn’t right for this.

And there really isn’t a user manual out there for doing all of it. There are books that explain the intellectual side, but what I’ve learned is that there are many more powerful tools to help navigate a graceful experience in non-monogamy.

We’ve created this tribe to give you all of the support and resources we’ve uncovered through years of study and practice so that you can create your own thriving relationship by design.

The tool sets that I’ve come across are exceptional for zeroing in on exactly where many discomforts are rooted when practicing open relating. Some of the tool sets that have helped me navigate have been attachment theory, birth order, and the six core human needs.

I want you to have all the tools and information most people don’t have to make choices from a conscious and fully supported place, and that’s what you get inside Leveled Up Love Plus. 

Shai’s Story

Opening up my relationship was one of the best decisions I ever made.

The freedom of variety, attention, and adventure has opened up so many opportunities to grow exponentially in every way. I have grown intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, and even professionally because of this love style.

Read More
Opening up my relationship was one of the best decisions I ever made.

The freedom of variety, attention, and adventure has opened up so many opportunities to grow exponentially in every way. I have grown intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, and even professionally because of this love style.

But my journey here was not as easy, peaceful, or as safe as it could have been. I simply didn’t have the tools that are available to you now inside Leveled Up Love Plus.

I was with my wife for 19 years. I felt that I was in a relationship that seemed to have everything anyone could want. We trusted and respected each other and had a lot of shared values.

Our romantic life was good, yet I still had this nagging feeling that something was missing. I wondered why I still had desires for other people. What was wrong with me? Was I a greedy person?

I felt so much guilt and shame for wanting to receive and give more love. But I was stagnating, and the stagnation was killing me, slowly.

Then, I gained a new perspective when I was exposed to the shows Big Love and Polyamory: Married and Dating. I ended up reading five books in a row including Mating in Captivity and Myth of Monogamy to discover more. Now, I’m not a reader. I had not read a book for years at that point, but I devoured those books. I clearly heard a calling.

I became convinced it was in our best interest to open up our marriage, but she had many reservations. So, we explored being “monogamish” for 3 years. We both thought this was the fix, at first. But it was just about physical variety, which wasn’t enough for me. I knew all along that what I was really seeking was relationships with emotional depth.

Eventually, my wife and I came to acknowledge that we all have the capacity to love more than one person at the same time. We moved into a new house. It was a sprawling, beautiful property that could hold eight people. I had dreams of a big love tribe built upon safety, support, and connection.

But in my gut, I knew I was taking a big risk with my marriage. And that’s when I realized I was okay with that. THIS was my purpose. This is who I AM.

So, we continued opening up our marriage even through difficulties, moments of jealousy, and breakdowns. We were not equipped. We thought all we had to do was start other relationships with a few simple rules of engagement and we’d be okay.

The books we had read hadn’t prepared us for the real challenges of polyamory. Ultimately, my wife decided she no longer desired this lifestyle… or even me. And it hurt. A lot. Although it was a conscious uncoupling, I still put my kids through the transition that I would have never wanted for them.

But after going on this tremendous journey of growth and discovery, I feel incredible. I’m living my truth and my needs are fully met. My kids adjusted well to a very slow and mindful transition. And now, especially in the last three years with Lea and Krissy, I found my love tribe and it’s growing.

Our love, connection, and sense of belonging has been growing and growing; it’s been on a non-stop growth trajectory. We’ve all had spiritual awakenings. We’ve all experienced intellectual, emotional, spiritual and even professional growth. And SO much healing.

Now I know it’s possible to have a really fulfilled life! And it’s something that I want for all the members of our community. I wanna share the tools and insights I’ve gained so you all can feel safe, seen, and loved while exploring your freedom to grow, heal, and contribute back to others!

Do You Need Deeper Polyamory Support Right Now?

You’ll get personalized 1:1 polyamory support from Lea, Shai and their all-star team of open relationship coaches.

Contact us for a complimentary 30-minute introductory call.

Watch Us in Action

 Poly Fight Done Right!
Watch us “make over” a common open relationship struggle (a broken boundary) using our own communications blueprint: 

Have Some Questions?

I’ve been doing this for a long time, and I’ve read all the polyamory books. Will Leveled Up Love Plus teach me anything I haven’t learned before?
First, it’s important to note that Leveled Up Love Plus is about more than just learning. It’s also about connecting, supporting, loving, and cherishing you as a member of our tribe. And yes, you’ll also learn A LOT. There is so much available for you here on open relating, communication, attachment styles, emotional intelligence, and more!
Can I pause my membership if I need to take a month off?
Yes. Simply let us know and we will pause or stop your payments for as long as you need.
I’m brand new to all of this and I haven’t decided which open relationship type is right for me. Is Leveled Up Love Plus for me?
Yes! Leveled Up Love Plus can save you so much stress, heartache, and turmoil by helping you choose and even custom design a relationship type that works for you. You’ll be surrounded by support, mentors, and resources to help you begin and navigate your journey with ease and grace.
I’m a busy person with a lot on my plate, will Leveled Up Love Plus work for me?
Yes! This isn’t about giving you a ton of books to read or endless training modules to consume. It’s a community where you can ask questions as things come up, get support, and learn more about navigating this lifestyle in an efficient and intimate way.
I haven’t told my friends or family about my open relationship type. Is Leveled Up Love Plus discreet?
Absolutely! Others won’t be able to see that you belong to our private Facebook group and what you share inside the group is kept private that way. For extra privacy we also have a component that is off of Facebook.
Can I get my money back if I’m not satisfied?
Yes. You may cancel Leveled Up Love Plus at any time. We know you’ll love it, but rest easy knowing that if for some reason you don’t, simply ask for your money back, after the first 30 days, and we’ll refund it. No questions asked!